Week 85: The Scottish 2

Friday, 16 August 2019

Reading time 1 minutes 25 seconds 

Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated – Mark Twain

I’m still at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival selling my show. I do this by standing on street corners shouting into the void, handing out flyers with my details on. Some days it’s soul destroying one moment and uplifting the next.

Below is an almost verbatim word for word exchange between myself and a prospective audience member.

Me: Hello, I’ve a show starting in 20 minutes would you be interested?

Stranger: Sure. What’s it about?

I show them my flyer and point to my picture.

Me: It’s about this handsome devil who jumped out of an plane and forgot to pull his parachute.

Stranger: Is that handsome devil you?

Me: Yes.

Stranger: Did he die?

Me: Who me? 

Stranger: Yes.

Me: No.

Stranger: Are you sure?

Me: Fairly.

Stranger: So was it fatal?

Me: You mean did I die?

Stranger: Yes.

Me: At this moment I wish I had.

Stranger: Is it you?

Me: Yes.

Stranger: So you couldn’t have died.

Me: No.

Stranger: So how did you survive?

Me: Come to the show and find out.

Stranger: There’s no point now, I know how it ends.

I thanked them for their time and walked away.

After my performance that day, as people were walking out and thanking me for a great show, the stranger appeared as if by magic. They stopped and generously gave me £10 as a way of thanks for being entertained. They explained they had to come along just to make sure I didn’t die. 

I Love this festival!

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My next shows: Edinburgh Fringe Festival 1st until 25th August 2019

My Solo comedy show

17:00 Skydive to stand up [45 minutes] Everyday

101 Comedy 14:30 & 19:30 [1 hour] Everyday

Both @ The Hanover Tap, 112 Hanover Street, Edinburgh. EH2 1DR

Picture: My Flyer, featuring a handsome devil.