Week 5: I Love You…..

Friday 2 February 2018

Reading time 2 minutes 45 seconds

”I Love You” Vs. “You Could Just Fuck Off”

Warning: Contains explicit language [see above]

4 years ago I heard the following; “If you ran into an arsehole in the morning, you ran into an arsehole. If you ran into arseholes all day long then you’re the arsehole.”

Damm, it turned out I was an arsehole.

It was because of anger. I was angry. Very Angry. I defined the short person stereotype.

Master Yoda wisely teaches “Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering”. It’s taken me years to understand that.

Once I decided that I no longer wanted to suffer, I changed.

This realisation was important because if I was that miserable then what would I become as I aged? How exhausted would I be with my life? With the below quotes in mind (hastaggable by someone I’m sure) I started to rewire my brain;

“You can’t change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”


“we either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. In the end, the amount of work is the same.”

One of the ways to alter my attitude was that I started to say “I Love You” before any interaction with another person. Obviously this was spoken in my head. I occasionally did try saying it out loud but it really made people uncomfortable.

The theory behind this method: It rewires your brain by changing the experience from a potential negative one into an always positive one. 

All I needed to do was apply this rule for every single interaction and then the nice, kind and loving person that I know lives inside of me can be on display all the time rather than occasionally.

The problem I found with trying to change is that the anger inside me had become my default setting so that before every interaction my brain said “You Could Just Fuck Off”. This was exhausting. During the transition my brain played out the following conversation;

“You Could Just Fuck Off……………Oh Yea, I Love you”

Did I want them to Fuck off or did I love them? It can’t be both. Can it?

My brain eventually started to change because of the contradiction of this argument. 

Love seemed to be winning.

How do I feel today? I’m happier and less angry……..

These days my brain plays out a different conversation before any interaction.

“I love you………….. especially if you could just fuck off”

It’s a huge step in the right direction. Right?

This week’s picture: A friend showed me a google App that scans your face and finds artwork across the globe that looks like you.