Week 94: The Infamous Cream Egg Challenge

Friday, 18 October 2019

Week 94 

Reading time 2 minute 4 seconds 

I’ve got the brain of a four year old, I bet he was glad to be rid of it – Groucho Marx

This story is not mine. I was just an instigator, but I instigated so well that another man may have got very sick all because I love a ridiculous childish challenge. Every Easter I’m reminded of this and the creme eggscapade of 2006. 

While in the office one day I complained loudly that I couldn’t find a Cadbury’s Creme Egg anywhere. I was informed that it wasn’t the season. Who knew that eggs were cyclical?

My office was mainly blokes and like the dumb males we were we started to brag how many creme eggs we could eat. I don’t have very many skills but eating chocolate is something I excel at and I bragged that whatever the highest number was I’d double it. 

We suddenly went from the hypothetical to a challenge of me eating 15 Cadbury’s creme eggs. My stupid ego was in town and with cash being thrown around like a Peaky Blinders gambling den I accepted the numerous bets and the rules were laid down. 15 eggs in 15 minutes, no puking for 1 hour afterwards. We spat into our palms and shook, the deal was done.

I then mentioned it at home that night and my girlfriend said it was childish, stupid and dangerous. Excellent. That’s the perfect trifecta required to begin any proceedings. 

I was told that I’d become a diabetic. That’s not possible I argued but it scared me enough to book an emergency appointment with a doctor, which you could back then. It was a crazy time.

The following morning I was given a telling off by the doctor for wasting their time and was told that it was a very stupid thing to do and yes diabetes would be an issue. Really? I thought that was nonsense. You can’t catch diabetes in one sitting. Can you?

I ummed and ahhed and then partook in my favourite past time and went on holiday. Upon my return I’d made up my mind and decided not to do it. I was already too close to diabetes and I’d worked out an elaborate tale on why I’d love too and would succeed but sadly at this junction in my life I couldn’t carry on with the challenge.

I then had the wind taken from my sails. While I was away, my colleague attempted the challenge. One of the other lads phoned Cadbury’s who in a moment of utter madness sent 15 eggs for free. The pot was about £150. I was told it was a quite a sight to behold.