Week 11: Football Vs. The Opera

Friday  23rd March 2018

Reading Time 3 minutes 53 seconds

“Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind the stronger the trees.” Douglas Malloch.

Disillusioned with Football after my club goes into meltdown I thought I’d try something different so I ended up at the Opera. The similarities between the two surprised me.

I know nothing of Opera.

I’ve been told it’s easy to understand. A tragedy befalls someone and they pour out their anguish in song. Sounds a lot like football to me.

I chose the Opera Elektra, because I enjoy the stories of Marvels Daredevil, which is as New York as it gets. Oh Yea I chose to watch the Opera in New York mainly thanks to a good mate of mine who offered me to join him on a trip.

The show was being performed at the New York Metropolitan Opera house the inside of which looked very similar to the senate council chambers in the crap Star Wars movies with floating boxes housing about ten people each. 

It was just like being at West Ham United’s new ground because I required binoculars to see the action. Not that there’s much of that to see at the London Stadium.

There were lots of Chords in terms of music as well as trousers. Jumpers were being worn draped over shoulders . Once again just like with the Football crowd I didn’t fit in.

I paid 10% of my ticket price for a drink, so the similarities were starting to show.

It was a Matinee performance and a large proportion of the toilets were closed, I guess the thinking being that afternoon folk wouldn’t have spent all day in the pub like an evening crowd.

The organisers were wrong. That afternoon opera mob had proper been on it and they were complaining like Arsenal supporters. One posh looking lady somehow managed to fall over and resembled a stranded turtle lying on its back unable to right itself. I’m not normally a Schadenfreude fan but being at a German Opera seemed like the perfect opportunity to laugh at someone else’s misfortune. So I did.

I then ended up in a non-verbal argument. 

This guy tutted and harumphed as I needed to squeeze past him to get to my seat. I wasn’t late, he was just being rude. He got even ruder when some people could not find their seats and he had to explain to them that at “The Metropolitan Opera House” seats are separated differently. The odd numbers are not near the even numbers. They are in separate sections.

Sequential numbering is not a “Thing” at the Opera apparently. 

I was really starting to dislike this guy. People who are arrogant of the knowledge they possess are infuriating and I was unlucky enough to be sitting next to this idiot. As the house lights lowered he folded his coat over his lap and a large chunk of it fell over me. 

I like to snuggle as much as the next person but there’s a time and a place and this wasn’t it so I threw it back over him. I may have been fairly aggressive in this act. He then harumphed at me. Stood up and stared at me. 

It was kicking off at the Opera! The Opera !

I’ve been to hundreds of football matches and I’d never ended up in a showdown like this. I returned the stare. In the dark. This seemed to go on forever. 

Then the music started and he just walked off. I never saw him again. 

This was a result as he would have flattened me with one punch or even a cleverly aimed put down. 

If you ever find yourself at the Opera here’s a top tip, even though it’s all about music the crowd don’t join in with the singing which was handy as I didn’t know the words or speak or sing German. Luckily though there is a tiny LCD screen in front of you which displays the subtitles. 

I guess before technology came along everyone could speak more languages.

The most surprising aspect of Opera was the music being similar to that from Tom and Jerry cartoons. For that reason alone, I was loving this experience.

The aggression at Opera is no different to football. Mid performance someone a few seats near me started to unwrap a sweet. I thought they were going to be lynched. I hoped it was coat guy. I decided then that I’d eat my M&M’s later.

The performances were excellent and at the end the cast takes a bow joined hands and did that section of the Hokey Kokey where you all run together, which I thought was a bit weird. 

There was a standing ovation and flowers were thrown onto the stage. The applause went on for well over 5 minutes. The Audience really had enjoyed it.

Overall it was a great experience and if you’ve not done it I highly recommend it. If football is just a game then Opera is a few very talented people having a sing song.

I’m looking forward to returning to my normal Saturday sporting routine though as the crowds are not as drunk and a lot less aggressive.

This week’s photo is me having my face frozen off on the Staten Island Ferry.